A large super-mass has formed a light year from planet Earth, mitigating the force of Earth’s gravitational field and causing livestock, small animals and people to float free up into the stratosphere and beyond. The good news is that after a brief international crisis punctuated by the hellish screams of those falling off the planet’s face, scientists have discovered how to create gravity on the small scale by harnessing the power of electromagnetism, thus enabling humanity to anchor itself to the ground.
On December 22, 2009, In Politricks, By Hope
Barack Obama is causing more than just ripples in the political world, he’s also causing ripples in the space time continuum, according to Nobel winning physicist and self confessed time traveling mad scientist, Ethel Alfredbaum.
“It used to be that we’d just go back in time and try to kill Hitler before he was born,” Ethel explained during a public tour of her secret bunker laboratory. “But ever since Obama was elected and right wingers have been reporting that Obama is actually worse than Hitler, we’ve been stuck with a real quantum quandary. Do we keep trying to kill Hitler, or do we try to eliminate Obama?