An illegal immigrant caught making off with American oil.
By now you’ve probably been made aware of the fact that there’s a pretty damn big oil leak off the Gulf of Mexico killing everything that flies, swims or reproduces asexually every 36 hours. While BP and Halliburton both point fingers at each other, people around the globe have spent the bulk of the last week tutting about it and making a decent show of righteous indignation. But you know what? I’m glad. I’m glad this oil leak is spewing forth into the oceans. I’ve always hated wildlife, especially sea turtles. Those little bastards always looked smug to me. Not so smug are you now, huh, sea turtle?