Hope Alexander

Scientists Tamper With Doomsday Clock

Hope — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 04:24:49 +0000

All good stories have a twist. ‘Star Wars’ had Vader being Luke’s father, ‘The Hungry Caterpillar’ had that nail biting butterfly finale, and now it turns out that the real terrorists the world faces are scientists, who are moving forward the hand on the Doomsday Clock, a clock which symbolically represents the countdown to man’s self inflicted destruction.

Countries We Want To Make A Comeback In 2010

Hope — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 11:02:11 +0000

Life is so hard right now. War continues in the Middle East, genocide and famine continue in Africa and the West is in the grip of a slow recession that just won’t quit. In spite of the fact that the world has always been fairly out of order, it wasn’t supposed to be this bad, was it? It was supposed to be that when we grew up and ran the world, things would be different. Unfortunately, they’re more samey than ever. Who is responsible? I don’t know, but here are some countries I hope do better in 2010.

Richard Dawkins and the Mythology of Science

Hope — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:16:44 +0000

Yesterday I spend an hour or two watching ‘Enemies of Reason’ in which Richard Dawkins picked his way through alternative health fairs, water dowsing trials, and conversations with spiritual health gurus with remarkable good cheer only broken by asides to the camera in which he noted the downfall of science amongst the common man and reminded us that it is science that has given us the longevity to live for eighty years whilst imagining that chakras, invisible sky gods and laws of attraction are providing us with prosperity.

Fun and games with Richard Dawkins!

Thou Shalt Steal

Hope — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 23:31:19 +0000

I like this guy’s style. A British Priest is courting controversy after encouraging his flock to shoplift. Father Tim Jones made the statement during a recent recounting of the Nativity story, which he broke off in the middle of (everybody knew what was going to happen anyway,) to give his congregation the following advice:

“My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift. I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither.”

Five Reasons To Huddle In a Bunker This Christmas

Hope — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:30:34 +0000

It’s almost Christmas! Just two or three sleeps left depending on where you are in the world. Have you prepared your bunker yet? Don’t know why should you have a bunker prepared? Put down the wrapping paper and read on, friends, read on, time is a wasting!

Christmas Carols

Whilst small amounts of Christmas carols are conducive to holiday cheer, scientists believe that the massive overdoses many citizens are exposed to whilst going about their daily business could lead to serious brain damage. Humans are not built to tolerate that much aural saccharine sweetness. It rots us from the inside out. Those aren’t colds people get at Christmas time, those are their brains leaving their bodies through their noses.

Santa Claus Banned After Breaching Trade Embargoes

Hope — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:45:39 +0000

Santa Claus has been banned from operating within the United States of America this Christmas, after investigations revealed that the jolly old foreign national had been operating in trade embargoed nations.

Spokesman for the US Government, Chuck Norris, revealed, “Whilst we appreciate that Santa Claus is free to make his own distinctions between naughty and nice, we believe that several tonnes of depleted uranium is an inappropriate gift for Iran, no matter how many nice letters they sent to his elf infested house in the North Pole.”

America Privatizes Gravity

Hope — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:43:44 +0000

A large super-mass has formed a light year from planet Earth, mitigating the force of Earth’s gravitational field and causing livestock, small animals and people to float free up into the stratosphere and beyond. The good news is that after a brief international crisis punctuated by the hellish screams of those falling off the planet’s face, scientists have discovered how to create gravity on the small scale by harnessing the power of electromagnetism, thus enabling humanity to anchor itself to the ground.

Should Obama Be Replaced With A Panda?

Hope — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:48:49 +0000

Obama’s popularity is slipping by the day, mostly because his supporters are becoming increasingly aware that they are being sold down the river by the charming smile machine with the politically correct racially blended heritage. If Obama keeps going the way he’s going, liberals are going to end up nodding aggressively whilst watching Fox News, and then what will become of the world?

New World Order Delayed Until 2015

Hope — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:12:48 +0000

The sinister shadowy organization behind the much debated New World Order announced that the official formation of the New World Order would have to be put back until 2015 after treasurer, Binky Hawkins, went on a multi-trillion dollar drug fueled bender in the Arab Emirates over the weekend.

“Binky is such a card,” a hooded representative of the New World Order giggled in a rare interview. “We all told him not to mix crack cocaine and horse tranquilizer but you know what Binky’s like…”

Black Friday In Guantanamo Bay

Hope — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:47:41 +0000

It’s the same old story, Middle Eastern people dying in suspicious circumstances in American custody.

“On the night of June 10, 2006, three Guantanamo detainees were found dead in their individual cells. Without any autopsy or investigation, U.S. military officials proclaimed “suicide by hanging” as the cause of each death, and immediately sought to exploit the episode as proof of the evil of the detainees. Admiral Harry Harris, the camp’s commander, said it showed “they have no regard for life” and that the suicides were “not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetric warfare aimed at us here at Guantanamo”; another official anonymously said that the suicides showed the victims were “committed jihadists [who] will do anything they can to advance their cause,” while another sneered that “it was a good PR move to draw attention.”

Who cares? You might say. This happened in 2006, under President Bush. Now we have President Obama, the President of Hope and Change. The president who promised transparency in government. The president who promised to shut down Guantanamo bay. Things are different now, right?

Wrong.

Under President Obama, investigations into the deaths of these men, one of whom was just a 17 year old boy when he was detained have been repeatedly stymied. Not only is Obama not going to prosecute anyone who supported the illegal detention and torture of thousands of Afghani and Iraqi citizens, he’s also going to continue to block efforts to discover the truth of what happened at Guantanamo Bay, whilst allowing torture to continue on his watch.

By this measure alone, Obama has deeply betrayed his supporters. Where is the hope and change in ongoing torture? Where is the hope and change in ongoing lies and coverups that protect those who commit heinous crimes in the name of war profits?

More importantly however, than in the clearly morally corrupt halls of political power, where is the spirit of hope and change amidst the American people?

It is common knowledge that men, women and children are dying and being tortured in the name of ‘freedom’, and in the USA, Tiger Wood’s latest affair is front page news, along with Black Friday sales. Is it possible for a society to be more decadent? Is it possible for a society to be more self centered?

When these atrocities first came to light, Bush was blamed for them, and the world believed that perhaps the American public had been hijacked by a cruel right wing government. Obama was elected and one year on, Guantanamo and other so called ‘Black Prisons’ are still operational in Afghanistan and in many other countries across the globe. Torture has not been stopped. It continues and it victimizes everyone. It creates terrorists in their thousands, both in detaining and torturing innocent people, and in the families of those who have their family members ripped away from them.

With Guantanamo Bay and prisons of its ilk, the USA has shown the world that it no longer has any room for compassion, for the protection of innocence, for the most basic love for its fellow man. Guantanamo Bay will go down in history as a human rights atrocity and American taxpayers are silently complicit in the ongoing sins of their government.

Merry Christmas.

The Source