In an unprecedented victory for the American entertainment industry, Miley Cyrus announced on Tuesday that she had won the war on terror. “I don’t know about y’all,” the fresh faced teen with the wide smile drawled, “But I just can’t help feeling pretty darn great about life.”
As Cyrus burst into yet another pop-fresh song about teenage love, onlookers were forced to agree that they no longer felt scared to leave their homes, and some of them even removed the gas masks they’d been wearing since 9/11.